“To release our work means to set free our heart songs from their cages – we don’t know where they will go, who they will touch, how they will fare, whether they will survive. We release them because they are not ours to keep, they are not who we are, they have their own life and their own journey.”
This is how I ended yesterday’s post. Over the last two weeks I have seen clearly how our work in the world is limited when we are over identified with it. By over identified I mean we take the results personally and become hurt when others don’t respond as we want them to. Or, fearing and anticipating a negative response, we limit the energy with which we offer our gifts – we hold back or play small. Or, we have great ideas but never take them all the way and bring them to completion. Either way, the work, which we may believe ourselves to be totally committed to, and upon which we pour our love and devotion, doesn’t get a chance to live fully. This is particularly true when the work we are offering is authentic, original, carved from our heart and soul.
This holding back and playing small is a universal aspect of ego. Perhaps we tend to think of ego as self inflation, arrogance, a desire to dominate but it is also the opposite – the perfectionist who can’t let go until the offering is perfect; the shrinking violet who is afraid of being seen; the sensitive empath who doesn’t want to disturb anyone – these are all forms of control. There’s a part of us that wants to make sure that everything is perfectly safe before we offer our gifts. And of course that’s impossible.
Sometimes there is wisdom in holding back. Putting a book out into the world that hasn’t been read by at least one discerning other and edited and well presented, probably isn’t the best idea, for instance. Or, becoming a huge star before you have the strength to be in the limelight can also lead to disaster, as it has for many a rock star. Shouting your ideas to the world before they’re fully hatched or becoming a one hit wonder with one inspired idea and no follow through is also a road to disillusion. So there’s wisdom in readiness.
If our soul work isn’t ours to keep but a series of gifts and assignations and divine missions from the universe which we have accepted and put ourselves in service to, then how do we prepare ourselves to be the best possible guardians of the gifts we have been given and promoters of the soul work which comes through us? How do we prepare ourselves to be strong enough to take on the feedback of others? Do we buckle and crawl away at the first criticism? When we’re met with a deathly silence and lack of response do we give up? Can we take a torrent of success or do we keep it to a trickle so we can protect ourselves from overwhelm and responsibility? How do we respond to adulation, expectations, people wanting more of us?
One thing I’m sure of is that when you express yourself authentically into the world not everyone is going to like what you say, everyone isn’t going to like you. There may be those who want to rip you and your message apart. There will be those who can’t hear you. Some may trample on your gifts. Others may make off with them pretending you don’t exist.
Taking our gifts into the world, expressing ourselves authentically, being Love-in-action, takes courage and skill and fortitude and commitment. It is not for the faint hearted. And yet when we are called to this path of authentic contribution the only choice we have is to learn how to be the most skilled practitioner of this path we can be.
This is such a big subject. I know it well because I’ve been living it for decades. It’s a lifelong journey and I am always a beginner. I learn experientially. When I am moved into action I observe and reflect deeply on the results of that action. What I am always attempting through the actions I take is connection. I write because I want to connect with you, I speak because I want to connect with you, when I offer a workshop or a programme it’s because I want to connect with you.
There’s an energy moving through me that must be expressed, this energy is much bigger than me and in this work of authentic self expression I become the voice and the servant of this intelligent energy, attempting to find the best way to connect and to communicate and to find where the energy is stuck and to free it. I try to live my life as a series of experiments in which there are only opportunities to learn how to be more skilled. And by skilled I mean more loving, more flowing, more inspiring, more uplifting, more truthful, more awake, more compassionate, more creative.
Those of you who know me will know how many times I fail. This journey can be bruising and humbling. It’s a high skill to be open and true and tender and at the same time to not get hurt or overwhelmed. And sometimes being Love-in-action doesn’t come sweet and soft and accepting it comes passionate and challenging and impatient and it’s necessary to learn how to stand in that too.
Especially when we are bringing into the world something new, different, evolutionary, daring, something which rattles the bars of the comfort zone, there will be opposition. One esoteric tradition calls this ‘the ancient fires’ and these ancient fires exist within us and between us, in the culture. The ancient fires are the force of resistance – the part of the human psyche that wants to roll over and go back to sleep, that doesn’t want to be disturbed or make an effort, or show up and be accountable. It’s the conservative part of us that doesn’t want change and avoids the risks of being fully empowered and visible. In the culture at large it’s easy to see right now how those in power cling more and more tightly to what they’ve got as the power of expanded consciousness spreads across the planet.
Learning how to stand in our own truth and power in the face of these forces of reaction is a vitally important practice. Whenever I find my truth opposed and I am unable to move forward I ask these questions:
What’s going on in the field? What’s the consensus thinking? What are people really wanting? What are we here to do together? Is there a common intention? Where are the blocks? What parts of this field are not being expressed or need support?
How can I serve the unfolding and be more skillful?
There’s a fine line between standing in our truth and becoming stubbornly attached to it. Flexibility and surrender are essential aspects of courage. There is always more to learn and for me its always been the learning journey that makes life worthwhile. How about you?
