October 17, 2010
Spring: Cultivating Balance and Harmony
Life isn’t a business to be managed; it’s a mystery to be lived.
Osho Zen Tarot.
Are you one of the fortunate people whose lives are perfectly balanced, so work, finance, relationships, health all dance together in a harmonious whole? If you are, then congratulations, you are a rare person these days!
In my own life periods of stress and harmony come and go. I see a certain amount of stress as being an intrinsic effect of choosing a life of spiritual growth and creativity which has cycles of letting go, deconstruction, creative tension and transformational leaps. Collectively right now we’re in a time of let-go-and-leap and the more sensitive we are, the more we feel the tension in this.
I’ve been noticing how, in these past few weeks, following the Spring Equinox, a number of women, including myself, have been unwell. The seasonal change and the surge into spring is calling us back to Source to be rebalanced and to come into a higher harmony.
I had an experience recently which showed me how much easier it is to say Yes to life, than to say No, and how this desire to keep saying yes can lead to over extension and burn out: to imbalance and disharmony. As women we’ve been conditioned to say yes, to be helpful, pleasing and nice, and I’m aware how many women suffer from chronic fatigue syndrome and similar illnesses, which point to some kind of habitual over extension and running on empty.
Shifts of consciousness and movement to new levels of integration are often accompanied by periods of confusion. For me, this confusion has manifested recently as difficulty in making decisions. I’ve felt that my plate was full and overflowing with creative possibilities and when faced with a decision I’ve often been unsure whether my motivation was coming from ego or Higher Self. Then I started to notice that there were some things to which I was getting an unconditional Yes and others to which I was getting a maybe. I noticed the Yes was a whole being response whereas the maybe was mostly coming from my head and from fear. Whenever I decided to go with the Yes, I met with success, excitement, renewed energy and flow, whereas if I followed the maybe it usually resulted in conflict, pushing and then feeling frustrated, depleted and resentful.
So here was a very simple answer to my question: a whole hearted Yes is a Higher Self response whereas a maybe could well be an egoic response. This may seem very obvious to you yet to me it revealed a whole new simpler and clearer path through life.
I was due to go to a Wellness Festival at Hanmer Springs last weekend where I was to give workshops and a talk. I was half way through preparations when my body protested so loudly I couldn’t ignore it. I simply couldn’t get out of bed. I lay there for 3 days while the rain poured down outside. Between sleep and more meditative states, my mind was working overtime. It was difficult to let the opportunity go, I was loathe to let others down, to be judged negatively, there were people I wanted to meet and I didn’t want to miss out on a good networking opportunity and an opportunity to be of service. I felt like a kid about to miss the party. Yet I couldn’t ignore my body and its insistence that this was not going to happen for me and eventually I surrendered. When it happened the surrendering felt like a homecoming to a deeper self.
Yet this showed me how difficult it is to say no and let the world go. To say yes, is to open to an expansion and delicious possibilities. To say no, is to close a door, sacrifice a possibility and face the unknown. Yet even when the initial choice is obvious, easy and flowing, real choice requires commitment, responsibility and effort to bring something to fruition. It simply is not possible to say yes to everything without becoming burnt out. Just as the gardener has to weed out the seedlings so some can grow into healthy plants, so too the garden of creative possibility must be weeded. Indecision and lack of commitment are draining too, the dance of will I? wont I? consumes energy. Saying no means being willing to risk the void, to be empty, to not know, to be alone, to wait. Too often we take what is offered to fill an inner emptiness, a loneliness, a lack, a fear or a need for affirmation. Or we drive ourselves to prove our worth.
One of my former teachers used to say, “If you don’t have your No, then you can’t have your Yes.” I’m experimenting now with only doing those things for which I have a wholehearted Yes. No “shoulds”, no “maybes”; just Yes or No. Some days this week Yes has meant leaping out of the door into the spring sunshine, today I chose to stay, finish this article and the Soul Sisters Newsletter. I am at peace.
Saying no means refusing what drains, depletes, overwhelms and robs us of energy. It means avoiding what poisons and pollutes us. It means being mindful of over-extending, doing what we think we should, acting from fear. Saying no can be an act of self love, self conservation and nurturing. Saying no makes more room for the Yes. What are you saying no to in your life right now? And what is drawing out your whole hearted yes?
Rose Diamond
