Creating a good life story – the skill of staying focused on what’s most important
I’ve just returned from a trip to West Wales, where a new story is pushing green shoots through the earth of my life. That’s set me pondering how we take the raw materials of our life – however nurturing or challenging these are – and create a good story from them.
Think about your life story for a moment – right now, does it feel like a tragedy, a comedy, a drama, a magical mystery tour? And are you in the role of hero, villain, unrequited lover, magician, goddess, or?
If you’re anything like me the perspective on your story changes from day to day, depending on whatever life’s flow is presenting. There are times when the threads of the story come clearly into focus and fall into a beautiful, inspiring pattern in which everything has its place. And then there are times when meaning and purpose disappear into a mist of chaos and confusion.
When I drove back from West Wales yesterday, we set off early in the morning, through mist and then, half an hour later through fog, and then rain, and finally an hour from home, the sun broke through and a beautiful summer’s day was revealed. During the misty, foggy stretches I was hyper aware how important it was to stay focused, since in such poor driving conditions any lapse in concentration can be costly.
That afternoon I watched the men’s singles final at Wimbledon. Roger Federer’s mastery of the game was truly inspiring. Once again there was the demonstration of focus – don’t take your eye off the ball. And he combined this concentration with strategy developed through years of experience and with physical strength and fluidity.
What does all this have to do with your life story? It seems to me that we don’t have a lot of choice about the conditions of our lives – we don’t choose whether its misty or foggy or sunny, or whether the government reflects our views, or the number of terrorist attacks in our country are escalating, and the icebergs are melting. But we can choose how we respond to our changing conditions, and staying focused is a very important skill that transforms our conditions. In our life story, when we hold the focus on our highest values, we manifest our highest purpose.
Let me give you an example from my own life. I’m sitting writing this on the bench in front of my cottage, looking out onto the grand sweep of the Snowdonia mountain ranges as they wrap around Cardigan Bay. I’ve been blessed to live with some stunning views ever since I began my spiritual journey and this one takes the gold medal for splendour. I arrived here by serendipity. When I left New Zealand I wasn’t thinking, ah, I’ll go and live in North Wales. Yet here I am. And although it’s been challenging living here on this, sometimes, raw edge, sitting with the grief of my best friend’s death and then my brother’s, I can also appreciate what a perfect soul sanctuary my intuition has led me to. This has deepened my trust that I really am carried and taken care of by the much bigger forces I call soul and a loving universe.
Often when we manifest something really good others say, “You’re so lucky!” and I do feel enormously privileged and blessed. But it wasn’t luck that led me here. It’s that magic mix of serendipity, readiness and skill. Infinite possibilities are available to us always yet to actualise any possibility we first have to be alert to its arising and then to listen to and follow our heart and intuition, and to choose it. What enables each of us to transform seeds of possibility into a good, creative, life story is the skill of staying focused at all times on our highest and most important values. When you keep your eye on what you’re here for and what gives your life meaning and purpose, something bigger takes over and arranges the details.
For me, my highest value for the last 25 years has been what I call the soul journey. I choose to follow my soul and, as I do so, it becomes increasingly clear to me that I have a massive opportunity in this lifetime to heal and whole my soul. I am connected right now to many, many others who are on a similar soul journey. We are part of a collective movement of consciousness and culture at the growing edge of humanity’s evolution. None of us are making this challenging journey for ourselves alone but in some mysterious way, my healing and expansion of consciousness, and yours, also contribute to the healing and wholing of humanity.
This is what I choose, this soul work is my focus, my reason for being here. I don’t always understand at the time why I’m making certain choices. I often need to feel into my experiences and surrender to what doesn’t feel comfortable. I need to take it all personally for a while, to deeply experience and know my personal pain and confusion and allow it to move through me and transform it into transpersonal truths – the truths of what it means to be human and reaching for wholeness in these turbulent transformational times. As I do this, the story becomes more clear and focused, more integrated and resilient.
Over the coming weeks I’ll be sharing more of my stories with you. There’s the story of how I came to leave New Zealand and return to my homeland to support my brother; the story of my brother’s dream and his death and how I found meaning and inspiration in that. There’s a story of soul friendship and the bigger unfolding story of the soul journey. When I write these stories I’m always reaching for the place where the personal intersects with the transpersonal – where my story touches yours. I believe when any of us is really authentic, when we listen deeply to ourselves and we’re true to our experience, then we touch into common experiences. I hope, by doing this, I cast a little light across your path and leave you feeling a little more connected, a little less alone, especially when you are travelling through the mist and fog of confusion.
This place where the personal intersects with the transpersonal is one of the greatest gifts of authenticity. When we are authentic we touch something bigger than the little self. Isn’t that why we all love stories? Down through the ages we humans have loved to have our hearts and souls touched by a good yarn.
This post has explored two essential skills of the transformational process: staying awake to possibilities as they arise and staying focused on what matters most. I wonder what matters most to you?
If you’d like to connect with me more please go to: https://www.facebook.com/Tribe.in.Transition/ and share your responses to what I’ve written here. I’d love to hear
