As I’ve been reflecting on my own process of becoming stabilised in a more expanded consciousness I have been even more aware how closely creativity and healing are interwoven.
I am evolving through a process of expansion and contraction – like a birthing or an orgasm – one day I am clear, confident, excited and expanded – the next I am back re-experiencing the lower vibrational states of the old stories.
As I get closer to launching Tribe in Transition as a global community, staying aligned with the evolutionary impulse and values that call me to step up to this work expands me into my full creative power. In this state there is no “little me” fretting and doubting, I am at one with the impulse and carried by it. There is no doubt this is what I’m here to do and it’s not about “little me”.
However, the movement stirs the unconscious hurts and wounds and doubts that live in the shadows of being and these arise to be seen, witnessed, accepted and released. As I create, I heal.
And this healing is also about more than “little me” because as I bring light into my own shadow, I also reclaim part of the collective shadow back into the light.
All I have to do is be aware of it all, witness it all, welcome it all. Not get attached to being in the light all the time or thinking that there’s something wrong if I’m suffering. Know that it is all part of one flow of life, one movement of evolution. That I am big enough to contain it all in the alchemical cauldron of being.
Our closest friends and family members are often the catalysts who help us to see what in us is still wounded. It isn’t always possible to bring our hurts and grievances to the ones who caused them. They are not always able to listen. And we need a witness for these deep hurts, some of which have been buried for a lifetime – maybe many lifetimes. That’s what draws people to psychotherapy – the need to be heard by an impartial and trained witness. I lived and worked for many years in the field of psychotherapy, learned many very useful skills, gained many brilliant insights, and also suffered at times by the human limitations of the therapist, just as I failed some of my own clients. The desire to end our suffering also draws us to spiritual teachings and practices and yet here too we enter into the mists of illusion before we may see the light.
These days I prefer to do my deep processing with a few close soul friends, people I can trust to hold a space for me in which I can explore and discover the truth for myself without the interference of another’s need to “fix” or judge. Deep compassion can be born in such a space as the clinging of personal grievance is released and we see how easily wounded we humans are. We have soft vulnerable bodies, feelings that are quickly hurt, minds that make and hoard stories of how we have been hard done by. And of course, many of us have been hard done to. As a psychotherapist I witnessed people as they connected with horrible sufferings and violations.
In a recent experience, I realized again how, when old hurts do not have a voice, when it is not safe to tell them or there is no one to listen, they get shoved down into the dark underworld dungeon of the unconscious. We lock the door and throw away the key and paste a bright, accommodating personality where the wound used to be, and carry on. I am convinced this is how disease is created and family and racial feuds and wars.
I grow more and more wary of those who tell me that we can free ourselves to live always in a space of fun-filled light and excitement. To me that is another oppression.
“By transcending opposites, we awaken from the dream of many parts into the reality of the unified whole. Once seen the vision cannot be unseen. Thought, as a way of navigating through life, is rendered obsolete, and is replaced by an immeasurably superior way; a direct knowing free of intermediary processes. From this integrated perspective, everything we once called dark or false or evil is unmistakably known to be of equal worth and importance as the things we once called light or true or good. Balance and wholeness are restored and we are born to our rightful selves. “ Jed McKenna, Spiritual Warfare, www.wisefoolpress.com
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